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25 July 2011


So the scan is tomorrow and I'm feeling a bit sick about it.  Every loss has taken something from me...a little bit of my optimism I think.  I'm worried that if it's bad news tomorrow I'm going to have to pull myself off the floor again.  I'm worried that this is going to affect my ability to do my job, go out and socialise, be happy for other people...Sounds like my priorities are a bit messed up, I guess.  But it's all part of self-preservation and reminding myself I'll be ok no matter what.

I realised I hadn't updated on the BT results last Monday.  HCG was 1406 and progesterone was in the 80s.  So the pessaries are definitely doing something.  I guess I'm one of those people whose HCG doubles every 3rd day rather than every 2nd.

Anyway, I'm hanging in there.  Send me any positive vibes, prayers etc.  I can use all the help I can get.


  1. you've been in my prayers. i'm sending lots of positive thoughts your way. wishing you an "uneventful" appointment that leaves you with nothing but peace and a smile <3
    lots of love.

  2. I really hope the scan brings positive results tomorrow. I broke down and cried as soon as I entered the room last time. It's so nerve wracking. I've been in right about 6 weeks both times and they did see a heartbeat (bleeding red blood got me in early but didn't do me much good later on). Good luck and hang in there.

  3. Hi, I just found you blog today and read the whole thing (when I should be working!). Good Luck ** I really hope you have some good news to share tomorrow.


  4. Many positive thoughts coming your way. I hope your appointment tomorrow goes well and you've got great news to share.

  5. Thanks for your encouraging comment on my blog :) I hope your scan tomorrow brings you some great news. Sending you lots of positive vibes!

  6. sending you lots of positive thought and wishing you all the best for your scan. I hope it is all great news for you and your hubby!