Almost 12 weeks

Apologies again for neglecting this blog.  Between some late nights at work and the fact that by the time I get home I'm basically "running on fumes" it has fallen by the wayside a bit.  But I haven't forgotten about my little tenant.  It's a bit hard to when I'm still using 2 pessaries a night and having weekly scans.

The last scan we actually got to see Hernlet moving, which was really bizarre, especially since I can't feel it.  I think s/he objected to dildo cam disturbing his or her serenity and tried to move away.  We get little photos after each of these scans, but because it is a fairly basic machine, you don't get a huge amount of detail.  Still, the sonographer was able to point out the orbits of the eyes and where the limbs were forming.  I have to say though, with the greatest respect to my unborn child, in the photo we got s/he looks a bit like something from "Close Encounters".   I would try to scan the picture but I'm really not sure it would come out.

Friday is the last of these quick pregnancy check scans.  Sunday (by my calculations) I will be 12 weeks.  Tuesday is the big one: the NT (nuchal translucency) scan.  This is where they measure the thickness of the back of the baby's neck.  This result is combined with the results of a blood test (which I had about 10 days ago) to give you a risk ratio for Down Syndrome and a couple of other chromosomal disorders.  As I'm 33, my age-related or 'background' risk is already higher than a woman in her 20s but all will come down to the results of these tests.  From my reading I believe that anything higher than 1:300 is considered 'high risk'.  If the result comes back as high risk we will be offered a definitive test: either amniocentesis, which is done at around 16 weeks or chorionic villus sampling (CVS), which can be done at 12 weeks.  Both carry a small risk of miscarriage.  I am desperately hoping that my results come back 'low risk'.  Joe and I have discussed it and we don't think we could continue the pregnancy knowing that the baby had DS.  But I think it would be incredibly 'cruel' - if you can use that word for something that's really bad luck - for us to get this far and get bad news.  I am trying not to think about it too much as I realise that worrying won't help.

Provided we get good news on Tuesday, I should be in a position to 'come out of the closet' and announce this pregnancy.  The idea of that is almost as surreal as seeing the Hernlet moving around on the ultrasound screen.  I realise that things can still go wrong after 12 weeks but I figure some time in the next month or so I won't be able to keep it a secret anyway (plus I think if I make them wait much longer, my parents' heads might explode!) ;)  At the moment I don't have a clear "bump", I just look like I've been to too many all-you-can-eat restaurants.

Anyway, here's hoping for a good result on Tuesday.  I will try to update then.

Too Tired to Blog

Yes, it has been almost 2 weeks since my last post.  Turns out the baby books weren't joking about the first trimester tiredness!  I even find myself nodding off at my desk...which is kind of awkward when people don't know that you're pregnant and probably think you've been having too many big nights.  Doesn't help that I get pretty bored at work.  Did tell my boss about a week ago. He knows about our m/cs and was really happy for us.  Anyway, I'm finding at the moment that I have just about enough energy when I get home to have something to eat, collapse in front of the TV and then drag myself to bed (remembering to pop in a pessary before I go to sleep).  Can't complain too much though...Hernlet really hasn't given me too much by way of morning sickness (the odd queasy moment here and there, especially when the guy across from me at work has his tin of tuna for breakfast!)

Speaking of Hernlet, we got to see him/her again yesterday.  The machine at the place where I'm having these extra scans is a relatively basic one so you don't see all the detail but you could see enough to tell that a) Hernlet has grown! and b) Hernlet has a good, strong heartbeat.  DH was pretty amazed because the previous week the heartbeat had just been a tiny flicker but yesterday you could really see it pumping.

Anyway, depending on who you ask, I am 9 weeks either today or tomorrow, so Hernlet should look something like this:

On Tuesday we have our first OB appointment where we'll probably get to see Hernlet again.  We'll also get the referrals for the NT scan and blood test, so of course that's the next thing I'm worrying about.  Hopefully all will be ok and then we'll be able to finally share our news.